Look at her up there, with that smug look on her face. What disrespect she has for you, the viewer. And that jacket she's wearing? Made from the very rare, Shashimono Dragon. Seriously, there were like 4 left, now there are 2. Yep, Mme. Perkins took 1 of those poor creature's skin to make the jacket and what you cannot see are the pants, yes, the pants she's wearing were made from the 'jacket' dragon's mate! And who sewed the whole damnable dragon skin outfit? Children. Yep. Children. Mme. Perkins believes children's tiny little fingers make finer stitches. To be fair, it's sort of true, they do.
Madame Perkins, by the way, we should mention that she makes us call her "Your Munificence", frankly we don't even know what the word means. Yes we could look it up if Mme. Jerk-Face didn't ban all dictionaries from our land. You should've seen the bonfire she made with all of our books (except for Danielle Steele books, she forces us to read and memorize all of them)! The flame could be seen from miles around. You know who built that bonfire? Children. Yep, children. Mme. Munifi-stupid thinks children's tiny little hands make better bonfires. To be fair, it's true, they sort of do.
Prime Minister Dumb-Stupid-Head thinks that "book learnin'" is not necessary. She thinks that she alone should posses all the knowledge and we should trust in her infallible judgement. We would disagree if only we knew what the word 'infallible' meant...and 'judgement'. But we don't so we're forced to take her word for it.
I guess what we're saying is HELP! Please, this is an S.O.S.. We are trapped in The Land Of Perkistan and can't get out. We would love to tell you how to get here, but we can't. In fact we don't know how we got here ourselves. One day we all awoke and everything was pink and smelled like unicorns and pain, but to be fair, the child slave labor isn't so bad...for the grown-ups anyway.