The Land Of Perkistan
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Look, my hair is mussed, 
that must mean I'm carefree &
​ agreeable.

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Isn't it sexy the way my hair
accidentally falls in front of my eye?

Seriously,
​ I want to punch my own face in.

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"I've just finished a yoga class
and now I'm relaxing with a cup of Smooth Move Tea...

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Look out, folded arms!
 My versatility is astounding.

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Need some car insurance?
​ Right this way sucker!

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My home smells like unicorns!

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Yes, I look like a total douche
 but
COME ON, 
that is one sweet rack.

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I will rip out your spleen and floss with it.
(Jeezuz, get thee to a colorist)

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